Lily Potter and the Terrible Twos
by SamusOlderBrother
Summary: Lily Potter (née Evans) was the greatest witch of her generation. A little thing like death isn't going to stop her from protecting her baby.


A/N: Dunno what gave me this idea, but here it is. Will I continue this story? Who knows.

Lily Potter (née Evans) knew that begging was a fruitless endeavor. From a purely utilitarian perspective (and she had studied the philosophy of utility) she would have been better off trying to cast the Killing Curse.

Still, she couldn't quite bring herself to try. So she begged. Blood runes and protections had already been implemented. But not having to use them would be better.

"Avada Kadavra."

It didn't even hurt. If she could make any commentary, it would've been that it was a remarkably humane way to kill someone. But then she wasn't quite gone.

She looked around the room. Harry's room. The crib was singed, but still standing. The roof and one of the walls was not so lucky. Harry was crying.

Lily moved over to the crib and checked on him. There was a nasty scar on his forehead, but he looked otherwise fine. She reached into the crib and saw through her hands. She froze.

"I'm a ghost."

'Obviously I'm a ghost. The Dark Lord hit me with a Killing Curse point blank. It's either this or find out if there's an afterlife.'

She hovered while Harry cried. She couldn't risk picking him up. What if she went incorporeal suddenly and dropped him?

She faintly heard someone call, "James?" And then, "Oh, God, no..." And then closer, "Lily? Harry?"

She recognized that voice.

"Up here, Sirius."

The man was wearing well-fitted clothes. A dress shirt, the vest of a suit and matching slacks, with black oxfords. His hair was long, but pulled into a ponytail.

"Lily! Oh, no. Not you too."

"Sirius."

"You're a ghost!"

"Calm down. I planned for this."

"What?" Sirius put his arm on the door frame and ran his other hand through his hair.

"Pick up Harry before someone wanders in."

"The Fidelius..."

"Was broken."

"But you said… How?"

"The Dark Lord came. Peter must've given it up. Whether it was willingly or under torture..."

"Peter wouldn't. He must've been tortured."

"Either way, you need to take care of Harry."

"You can't be serious."

Lily smiled. "No, you're Sirius."

"Ha ha."

"Take care of Harry. You're his godfather. We're dead. Don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"The 'I'm going to crap my pants' look. He's a baby."

"What if I mess it up?"

"If everything goes to plan, it'll only be for a few months."

"Then what?"

"Then I'll take over."

"You're a ghost!"

"You think a little thing like being a ghost is going to stop me? I had a plan for this."

"You're kidding."

Lily shook her head.

"What do I do?"

"You take care of Harry. And get a few books from the Potter vault. And the notebook I left as well."

"What about the Dark Lord? And Peter?"

"Leave it to the Order. You have bigger fish to fry."

Sirius groaned.

"Quit whinging and call Dumbledore. I'll corroborate your story about Peter being the secret keeper then we'll begin."

000

Sirius Black walked into Gringott's Bank. He had the Potter family vault key and a list of books. The list included Linfred of Stinchcombe's diary.

"Welcome to Gringott's, Lord Black."

The goblin was scarred, but didn't wear glasses. He also wore a suit, similar to those of Muggles. Sirius wore a similar suit on most occasions. The blood purists could say what they wanted about Muggles, but they had _style_.

"Greetings. I'm here to visit the Potter vault."

"Do you have the key?"

Sirius dug it out of his pocket and smiled. "Of course."

The goblin hopped down with a curt, "Follow me, please."

They went through the security systems easily enough and Sirius started digging through the vault for the books. They were all about rituals and potions. Neither were Sirius' forte. He vaguely recalled learning that Linfred of Stinchcombe had invented the Skele-Grow potion. But James wasn't the only one Lily had wrapped around her finger and even her ghost managed to get him moving.

Four books and a Muggle notebook. He pulled out his wand and shrank the pile.

"All done."

"Excellent, sir. I'll escort you back to the lobby."

000

"You need a bathtub?"

Lily nodded. "It has to be larger than normal. A real bathtub, not a transfigured one. Lined with copper. At least six feet long, two feet wide, and two feet deep."

Sirius groaned. "Do I want to know why?"

"So you can resurrect me."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm sorry. I must've stuttered." She paused and pronounced every syllable clearly, "I need the bathtub so that you can resurrect me."

"I heard you!"

"Good. Get the tub."

"You can't do that! Resurrection magic is impossible! Everyone knows that."

"Everyone is wrong. Or, at least, they're mistaken. We're going to try it. It'll work. Trust me."

Sirius muttered, "Famous last words." But he stood and walked out. Then apparated to Diagon Alley.

000

Sirius looked into the tub.

"How do we know if I've done it right?"

"Look at my notes."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair.

"And don't contaminate it with your hair!"

Sirius sighed and washed his hands. Again. Then tied his hair back. Then washed his hands again.

He looked over the bathtub. He'd put two whole pigs in as part of the process along with every human organ he could buy in Knockturn Alley. They'd all dissolved, just as the notes said they would.

"I think it's ready."

Lily nodded. "Good. Did you bring my blood and the cling film?"

Sirius nodded. "How long will it take?"

Lily shrugged. "It's growing a new body from the parts you put in. I've no idea exactly how long it'll take. Could be twelve hours, could be several weeks. I'd bet on less than a week though."

Lily took the blood in her spectral hand and lay down into the tub filled with the most advanced medical potion ever conceived. Sirius too the cling film and covered the tub so that nothing, not even dust would get in. Then he finished the magic circle around the tub that would keep most magic out. Someone strong enough or determined enough could break through, of course, but if that happened they had bigger problems.

Sirius watched as tiny jolts of electricity ran through the bathtub. Then he went downstairs to pick up Harry from the babysitter. Remus hadn't wanted to do it, but Lily's ghost got after him and he acquiesced just like the rest of them. The woman would've been a phenomenal Dark Lady.

000

Lily opened her eyes. She was in a tub with thick fluid covering her body. She scrambled to get out. The last thing she really remembered was the Killing Curse. She had some dreams about being a ghost, but they were hazy. She stuck her arm straight up through cling film and coughed as she drew breath.

She must've enacted the backup plan. She tried to focus on the dream and some of it started to come into focus. She'd co-opted Sirius to help her. She slid over the edge of tub. Her muscles were weak. She'd have to make notes about that.

Her voice cracked the first time she tried to speak. She summoned the wand from the table and cast the levitating charm on herself. She sat in the chair in the attic and began working through occlumency exercises. She'd have to order her mind and commit her memories as a ghost now while they were still fresh.

After a while, she realized she was shivering. And finished with her exercises. She went to stand and realized that she was still weak. And Sirius had taken the robe elsewhere.

She put her wand to her throat and whispered, "Sonorus."

Then shouted, "Sirius! Bring me a robe!"

She heard something from below and then the tell-tale clomping of someone running up stairs.

The door flew open and a blond man gaped at her.

"Lily?"

She nodded.

"My God! You're supposed to be dead!"

The man drew his wand and pointed it at her.

She whispered, "Remus, put that away. I've had a crap day."

"You're not real! You're an inferius! Lily is a ghost."

Lily pointed her wand at Remus and levitated him.

She whispered, "Not inferius. Very weak. Need help." And then let the spell end.

"My God… You've come back from the dead, haven't you? That's incredible! Can you bring James back too? Or anyone else?"

Lily whispered, "I'm cold, Remus. And weak."

Remus conjured a robe and brought it over. He helped her put it on. She realized that her body wasn't all that attractive at the moment. She was too skinny and her stomach distended. Another thing to note.

As Remus carried her down the stairs, she whispered, "Call a healer."

000

"According to these diagnostics, you're only a few days old."

Lily nodded. Speaking still hurt, but she could manage to speak in more than a whisper. "Can you please give me a copy of all of your notes?"

"Certainly, Miss Evans."

"Misses Potter."

"Sorry, dear. I hadn't heard." Then the woman went white. "I'm so sorry. I hadn't realized."

Lily shook her head. "It's okay, Madam Pomfrey."

"Albus wants to speak with you. I don't recommend it, but he was insistent. If you would rather wait a few days, I'll make him return another time."

Lily smiled. "Send him in."

Madam Pomfrey stood and crossed the room. She opened the door and said, "You can talk to her now, Albus."

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard alive. According to many witches and wizards. He was also Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He looked like Gandalf and Lily never figured out if the old man did it on purpose.

"Misses Potter. I have a great many questions for you. Not least of which is just who did we bury at Godric's Hollow?"

"That was my original body."

"Ah." He looked into the corner and then turned back to her. "I admit it has been quite a while since this has happened to me so forgive me if I'm not doing it correctly. I haven't a clue how that explains anything so would you please explain just what is going on?"

Lily smiled. "The Dark Lord killed me and I found myself a ghost. With me so far?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"I examined and learned all about ghosts some time ago."

Dumbledore nodded.

"My parents bought me a subscriptions to several muggle medical journals. I think they hoped I would go into medicine at some point."

"I'm sure this is relevant."

"It is. When James and I married, I took a look through some of his family's heirlooms. Did you know that the Potter fortune was made on the Skele-Grow potion?"

"I did."

"So I looked into other restorative potions while I was at it. I tried to break down the theory behind them. At the time, it was a hobby. And then we started fighting with the Order of the Phoenix."

"And it suddenly wasn't all theory any longer."

Lily shook her head. "I took the thought experiment out as far as I could. Would it be possible to grow an entire human? And it turns out the theory lined up and it is possible."

"That explains most of it and I think I can put together the rest."

Dumbledore's wand was suddenly in his hand and he shot a spell at Lily. She felt her skin tingle and then she yelled.

The door burst open, spilling Sirius, Remus, and Madam Pomfrey into the bedroom.

"My apologies. I seem to have come to quite the wrong conclusion."

Lily raised an eyebrow.

"I thought the ghost of Lily Potter had simply possessed a body. That's very Dark Magic you know."

"So you cast an exorcism spell at me?"

Dumbledore nodded. "I thought it best to take swift action if you'd become a malignant spirit. Again, you have my apologies. I was clearly mistaken."

Sirius glared at the old man. "I think you'd better leave."

Dumbledore's departure was a swift disapparating pop.

"You okay?"

"I'll be fine. You don't have to raise a child alone, Sirius."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know." Lily smiled. Messing with Sirius was entirely too easy. James liked his pranks, but Lily wasn't as innocent as everyone always thought. She'd advised him on some of his best work in sixth year. One would think the other Marauders would've figured it out, but they'd just thought he'd worked harder to top himself.

Silly boys.


End file.
